The Calm in the Chaos: Tools From a Social Anxiety Therapist in Erie, PA to Manage Social Situations
Do you ever find yourself dreading something you would typically enjoy, like going bowling with friends or going out to dinner with family? Even what seems like “simple” daily activities - grocery shopping, throwing your lunch away in the school cafeteria, or answering questions in class - can create a knot in your stomach. If you’re thinking “yes, this is me!”, you may be experiencing social anxiety, and trust me, you’re not alone.
Social anxiety is avoiding activities you would enjoy where you might meet new people, eat around others, or be “in the spotlight,” because you fear being judged. It’s your turn in line at the grocery store, and suddenly you’re on a stage being evaluated on your small talk, your mannerisms. Are you taking too long? Do the people behind you think you look weird? Was the cashier annoyed that you counted out your change? Your heart is pounding, you’re sweating, blushing, and trembling. But actually, when you look at the panel of judges, you’ll only find yourself there. It’s 10 AM, you've just completed your grocery shopping, and your body feels like you've run a marathon; that’s anxiety. So, what do we do about it?
An effective way to feel more control over your anxiety is to develop a safety plan through anxiety therapy. Safety plans help you develop awareness and plan for anxiety-provoking situations. As a social anxiety therapist in Erie, PA, I’m here to walk you through it.
Connecting to Your Body
The first step in creating your safety plan is to get to know yourself better. What are the warning signs that your anxiety is rising? You know when your heart feels like it might beat out of your chest, or it’s an eighty-degree day, but you can’t stop shaking? Those are warning signs - physical changes that tell you something is wrong.
Warning signs can also be thoughts - if you’re like me, you become your own judge, jury, and executioner, “you embarrassed yourself, and the only solution is to move across the world and change your identity,” or you seek refuge in the corner and pretend that your Sudoku app is important business. Reflect on your warning signs and make a list of three to five of your most common ones.
What Sets You Off?
Triggers are situations or thoughts that cause your warning signs to rise. So, maybe like me, when you make a joke that doesn’t land or your comment is ignored in a group, that can make you want to hide in the corner. Triggers can also be comments made by others. If a friend says they don’t really feel like hanging out today, you start to have those negative thoughts about yourself. It can help to think of triggers as the cause and warning signs as the effect. Reflect on your triggers and add to your list three to five of your common ones.
Taking Control of Your Anxiety
So far, we’ve thought about some of the situations that can cause stress and what our reactions are to them. Now, what do we do? We cope.
Coping strategies are ways to manage stress and symptoms. Remember, anxiety isn’t something to cure; it’s a normal feeling. However, when it starts to feel like it controls you, that’s a sign it has become more problematic. There are a variety of ways to cope, but some quick skills you can use in the moment are positive affirmations, breathing exercises, and grounding techniques.
Positive affirmations are statements you can tell yourself leading up to and during an event that will help you feel stronger and instill confidence. A couple of examples are, “I am strong,” “my thoughts and feelings are worthy of being heard.” It’s essential to avoid negative language. Rather than saying, “I am not weird,” change that to “I have an interesting and unique perspective.” Or “my friends don’t hate me” can be “I am loved and valued.” You can set reminders on your phone with the affirmations, or place a card in your wallet or phone case to read before entering.
Okay, I know it sounds strange, I’m telling you to tell yourself that you’re confident when you feel the exact opposite, so how would that help? Reassuring yourself, even when it feels awkward, helps change that negative feedback loop your brain has become accustomed to. Positive affirmations aren’t magic wands we can wave and make ourselves believe; it takes time to build. Again, you’re not alone. I often give myself a pep talk in my car, too.
Grounding Exercises
You can also utilize breathing exercises.
Diaphragmatic breathing - Place a hand on your chest and stomach while inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, taking deep breaths so that only your abdomen rises and falls with each breath. This encourages deeper breathing and slows your heart rate.
Box breathing - Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and then hold again for four seconds. If you start to feel lightheaded, adjust the times to what is comfortable for you. The goal is to be mindful of your breath and slow it down.
Sometimes, I notice myself zoning out or detaching from those around me if I become anxious. When this happens, I use a grounding skill to bring my focus back to the present.
5-4-3-2-1 method - Look around your environment and identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Try to be mindful throughout the exercise. What colors stand out to you? Is the chair scratchy or soft? If there is nothing in the environment you can smell, try to imagine a scent you enjoy, like fresh-baked pumpkin pie, or my personal favorite, the earthy smell of rain. Do the same for taste, imagine what it’s like to taste chocolate melting in your mouth.
Who Can You Call if Needed?
It’s really important to have trusted resources that you can turn to when feeling like a crisis is developing. This could be a family member, friend, or social anxiety therapy with an anxiety therapist. Make a list of people you can contact at different times in case someone is unavailable. Be aware of the local crisis services and the national suicide and crisis hotline (988). It is always okay to reach out for help; you are not a burden, and there are people who want to help.
Planning Ahead
Planning ahead for the situation can help you feel more prepared. Answering the following questions can help you feel more in control: What is the setting you will be in? Where can you escape to when you need a break or time to breathe? Who will be there that you can talk to? Do what you can ahead of time - pick your outfit the night before, arrive early to give yourself a minute to breathe, and say your affirmations. A personal stressor for me is parking, so I’ve utilized Google Earth several times to investigate my parking options and route beforehand.
Get Some Experience
This is going to be a hard one, so keep an open mind. Sometimes practicing being in the situation can help. Start with something you would rate as a four or lower on a scale of one to ten for distress, such as taking a walk in a park or your neighborhood, shopping in a store you’re familiar with, or even starting a conversation with someone new at work. This will help you build up some tolerance to similar situations and also give you the opportunity to identify some of your warning signs and triggers.
Be kind and patient with yourself. It’s okay to start small, and it’s okay to try again later if you become too overwhelmed. You’re allowed to have bad days and setbacks; progress is not linear, and setbacks provide learning opportunities.
Reaching Out for Help and What to Expect
Overcoming anxiety does not have to be a journey you take alone. Mental health professionals are great resources for learning skills and having a judgment-free place to share your thoughts and feelings. Seeking in-person support with social anxiety therapy in Erie, PA, can be a great way to practice building tolerance. Social anxiety can make something as simple as leaving the house feel daunting; that’s why having a consistent, trusted space like a therapist's office can make facing those challenges a bit easier. If in-person services feel a little too overwhelming, you can start with virtual meetings, too. After building some trust and getting to know your therapist, you may feel more comfortable coming into the office. Meeting new people can be scary, and it’s normal to feel nervous, even therapists can feel nervous when meeting someone new!
Your social anxiety therapist may use many different methods to help you. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is a widely known method that helps identify and reframe negative thought patterns known as cognitive distortions. The idea of slowly warming yourself up to social situations is known as systematic desensitization and can help you hone skills to reduce anxiety over time. Your therapist may also help you practice different skills in session, which allows for a safe, judgment-free environment to learn. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you take control by teaching acceptance of anxiety and living a life more in line with your personal values. Be sure to talk with your counselor about the methods they use or explore techniques you’re curious about.
Final Notes from a Social Anxiety Therapist in Erie, PA
Creating a safety plan is only the first step. It won’t make anxiety disappear overnight, but it can help you develop confidence and effectively manage anxiety. It takes practice, but you can learn how to face situations with more confidence at Metamorphosis Counseling.
This article is not a replacement for professional mental health treatment. It’s essential to seek the guidance of a qualified professional if you are experiencing distress. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or suicidal ideation and you need immediate assistance, please contact the local Erie crisis services at 814-456-2014, contact the suicide hotline at 988, or present to the nearest emergency room.
Breathe Easier With a Skilled Social Anxiety Therapist in Erie, PA Today
When worry, tension, and self-doubt start to take over your interactions, even everyday conversations can feel overwhelming. At Metamorphosis Counseling, our social anxiety therapists in Erie, PA, offer gentle, evidence-based support to help you navigate social situations with more confidence and ease. We provide a steady, reassuring space where you can unravel the fears beneath your anxiety, build emotional steadiness, and begin showing up in your life with a calmer mind.
Here’s how to get started:
Call or text 814-273-6270 or fill out our contact form to connect with our team and learn how social anxiety therapy can support you.
Schedule your first session with an anxiety therapist in Erie, PA, who understands social anxiety, avoidance patterns, and the pressure of social stressors and can create a plan designed around your needs.
Begin practicing grounded, realistic tools to manage social discomfort, reduce spiraling thoughts, and move through interactions with more clarity and confidence.
You don’t have to manage social anxiety on your own. With the right support from our team, you can find a steadier footing, feel more at ease around others, and build a life where connection feels possible again.
Comprehensive Care Options at Metamorphosis Counseling
At Metamorphosis Counseling, we recognize that social anxiety rarely exists on its own. It’s often connected to past experiences, emotional sensitivity, and patterns built over time. Our approach goes beyond symptom relief, offering support that helps you understand the roots of your discomfort and learn how to move through social moments with greater ease. With trauma-informed care and online therapy options in Erie, PA, we guide clients toward steadier confidence and long-term resilience.
We also work with children and teens who struggle with anxiety, helping them adjust to social pressures, big transitions, and self-doubt. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or your child, our therapists provide a warm, judgment-free space to build skills, strengthen emotional balance, and feel more connected in everyday interactions.